This relationship is just in a downward spiral and I have no idea how turn it around anymore. I’ve tried. You know that. I just need to accept it. I shouldn’t HAVE to but sometimes you gotta do things you don’t wanna do. Really..I’d rather have no dad at all than have a dad like mine.
Ooooh, that was a little harsh. I’m just done I guess. I love you old man, but you have got to change. And soon.
Don't mind me or my pointless post. It is sheer babbling that needed to be out in the open.
I’ve been sitting her for an hour now trying to unravel the mystery that is me. It’s not really working.
I wish..No. I hate that phrase. I hate wishing for things. I have an art class to be in tomorrow morning but instead of sleeping, I’m sitting here trying to think of something to fill this empty space that is displayed before me. I don’t know what to put but I know something needs to put here. I want to know what that is. There’s a void that needs to be filled and the answer has to be right in front of me. I mean where else could it be? It’s a matter of recognizing it. Understanding it. Accepting it. That’s the hard part. I really wish I knew what I was talking about right now. (There I go, using that phrase) For some reason, it all makes sense though. It’s like there’s a designated spot in my brain that can comprehend the meaning of all this nonsense that is spewing out me like lava from an active volcano. And it’s not really so much that YOU or anyone else doesn’t understand, it is I that doesn’t understand. I want to understand. I’m to complicated for most people. No, you know what? Screw that. I’m not a victim. And neither are you. That may be true, but it doesn’t have to be. You matter. I matter. We ALL matter. I am now put to sleep my life. I have grown accustom to the same boring ‘ol routines and I don’t like it one bit. There’s to much of something thrown in there that needs to go though. It’s overwhelming! I don’t like it at all.
I need something to fill that void. Is it God? Of course it is. </rant>